|
|
Post by crazybollox on Jul 19, 2015 17:06:08 GMT 10
Instalment 3 Jubbys R1 cams, Ok so by now I have painted the picture to the following - we have everything we need to complete the job to absolute perfection except experience which is a trivial ingredient because no matter how bad we can fuck this up someone can fix it right? So let's get started, what's this, "it's a cam shaft, there should be two" where's the other? "It's in that box", ok I got it, " not that one that's the old one" "looks exactly the same," "stop fuckin around and be serious just for once....Ok I say. So the cams go in, the degree wheel is set up all we need to do is set up the dial in gage and we are away, you got any ideas I ask " yeah go into Eva's (his young daughter) toy room and grab her school desk whilst I go get a baking tray from the oven" the desk is slid into the space between the engine and the front wheel with the baking tray filmy screwed to it to avoid any movement, the magnetic base to the gage is locked in and the pointer to the gage is short of hitting the valve by several inches, " fuck" is the universal cry from both of us in unison. "What now" I ask " go into the garden and get Eva,s push bike, "what"? " You heard go get her bike" ok I got the bike - PING is the best word I can use to describe the sound as the pliers begin to cut through the wheel spokes..... What the fuck you doing - " it's ok, Joe reckons the thread on the end fits into the dial in gage and you can use the spokes as a pointer / feeler" well fuck me it fits, I may have just elevated Jubby above idiot level...  That should do it. What the fuck is wrong with this thing, I can't get a stable reading Jubby asks -" I don't know man, it's a digital peice of shit, in my day we just watched a needle move" (now another throw back also from my earlier days was if we changed the carpet in the house the old carpet would invariably be laid in the garage to prevent laying or sitting on the cold concrete floor in the winter when undertaking difficult jobs) "maybe the carpet is allowing the table to move"? Yeah - fuck it lets cut it, pass me the knife. "Right the desk is firmly on the floor now, have another go" " "what the fuck is wrong with thing" " I don't know, back in my day" "yeah yeah yeah, back in your day computers had wooden balls that slid on a rail and only counted to 10" "Fuck off" I lament. Ring ring- is that Joe - yeah - it's Jubby here - what's wrong - he goes on to explain the bouncing digits - " well you need to get the dial fixed to the bike to avoid the slightest movement having any effect on the gage" " yeah but we have a kiddies desk and baking tray for that" "you two belong in a circus, don't ring me again" I " might have to" brrrrrrrrrrr as Joe hangs up the phone. What did he say I ask "he says your a clown" I begin "back in my Day" "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CENILE OLD CUNT" "fancy a beer " I ask walking towards the largest fridge full of piss any garage has ever seen......! "How long we been drinking" fuck knows" how many times the cams been in and out now? " you mean today or total" "today" "three" Jubby informs, "Why you asking" "well, I can see a face in all the paint we used for the timing marks" "fuck off" Jubby laments, "what's my job for tomorrow"? I ask. "Bring more piss" comes the answer" "ok, you think that's a full moon" "fuck off home" he says " ok, will see you tomorrow"........! |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 19, 2015 18:28:18 GMT 10
Lol haha I forgot the baking tray and table.... Wife went mad fucked about with that for a whole weekend before ringing joe... I ain't going to offer any more opinions or advice no one is going to listen to me now on here.... Your making me sound like a right idiot!!! Suppose looking back we learnt alot. Glad your logging it..
It was a frustrating 9 weeks but the laugh we had.... I would do it all the same again
|
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 19, 2015 18:32:48 GMT 10
Cant remember you taking all these photos reckon you may have enough to support the how to thread
|
|
|
|
Post by crazybollox on Jul 19, 2015 18:39:11 GMT 10
Lol haha I forgot the baking tray and table.... Wife went mad fucked about with that for a whole weekend before ringing joe... I ain't going to offer any more opinions or advice no one is going to listen to me now on here.... Your making me sound like a right idiot!!! Suppose looking back we learnt alot. Glad your logging it.. It was a frustrating 9 weeks but the laugh we had.... I would do it all the same again Your probably in a great position to offer advice and answer questions as entering into this modification with the four stroke experience we had could only lead to one big learning curve. P.S. You want to check my valve clearance next weekend.......! yeah we had to laugh as the opposite is to cry..! |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 19, 2015 18:41:30 GMT 10
Hey Jubby, I have some flies which I took out of my Fz1 for copper dawgs trimmed flies, you can give them a go if you wish and try enabling whilst you have the flash gear. Although mine runs like a woman from a rapist and I think my flies are disabled? Can you remember if they were when you last flashed me? Also will try to find time for instalment number 3 today so get ready for more home truths on Jubbys R1 cams mod.....! oh and a great ride yesterday, I forgot how good it feels to "old man" you on the twists - mind you I locked my back wheel on several occasions when I didnt mean to, puts your heart in your mouth when this happens, yes I said heart in your mouth not a cock you gay prick.....! Oh and thanks for informing the waitress I take my coffee like my men - strong and black "WANKER" Your flies will be bigger I reckon... I think your velocity stacks are larger in diameter. I dont remember seeing you in mirrors so if you mean old maned me by leaving me to test the waters I agree you did! |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 19, 2015 18:43:44 GMT 10
Lol haha I forgot the baking tray and table.... Wife went mad fucked about with that for a whole weekend before ringing joe... I ain't going to offer any more opinions or advice no one is going to listen to me now on here.... Your making me sound like a right idiot!!! Suppose looking back we learnt alot. Glad your logging it.. It was a frustrating 9 weeks but the laugh we had.... I would do it all the same again Your probably in a great position to offer advice and answer questions as entering into this modification with the four stroke experience we had could only lead to one big learning curve. P.S. You want to check my valve clearance next weekend.......! yeah we had to laugh as the opposite is to cry..! Yeah will see how the week pans out but will be keen to come give you a hand.... German beer? |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 19, 2015 19:57:15 GMT 10
Saying that had a great ride today with him bit of everything 450km. having some real issue with mid to low power... But holy fuck its absolutely ballistic almost like a switch after 7k rpm.. Please comment on below and let me know what you think... Defo will let you know once tuned not sure if to do with current exhaust or new? I have an xg-1 Dan Moto and its loud which I can deal with but its straight through and that is my issue... I have taken my bike out for first time since r1 cams went in did 450kmh twisties, straights, sweepers the whole lot and the bike is absolutely ballistic above 7k rpm. BUT below 3k rpm I have to clutch the shit out of it and between 3k rpm and about 5.5k rpm its really hesitant kinda like its chocking you have to ease the throttle because if you go WOT below 5.5k rpm its sort of slows down then picks up.... You have to ride it like a two stroke.... But like I said above 7k rpm holy fuck unbelievably quick!!! The fz1 tuned to fuck I was with today... Crazybollox.... Couldn't close the gap when I was riding in this rev range even on straights upto around 210kph after that his bigger cc took over... Very happy with speed and power but not overly happy about how its being delivered... Any thoughts.. Do you think having no back pressure could cause this... I have no cat neither??? The xg-1 is straight through.. Do you think I could get a dyno tune to fix this with current exhaust? Or should I get a new one... The bike is fast tho un fucking believable diff with cams and flash?  Moved this across to maintenance section..... xg1 slip on v stock exhaust... If you can offer advice please do. |
|
|
|
Post by woody146 on Jul 20, 2015 5:39:28 GMT 10
Welcome to the shit storm! Seems like you guys fit right in! Stories are a fucking riot!
|
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 20, 2015 6:20:06 GMT 10
Gone loopy the two of you have! You know thay is supposed to be a weekwnd job? U mean setting up the MDI??? 9weeks from strip down to running. In my own defence there was a bit of shipping time gear from Japan and ecu postage twice as we had an immobilizer issue |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Jul 20, 2015 8:16:47 GMT 10
U mean setting up the MDI??? 9weeks from strip down to running. In my own defence there was a bit of shipping time gear from Japan and ecu postage twice as we had an immobilizer issue Was kidding...... Your pain has entertained and provoked thought in us all... LOL. Happy hammering...... . I know mate we certainly made a neal out of it... But if we can do it based on this thread everyone can tackle it. I hope it makes people think well if these clowns can do it so can I. I thenk when crazy is finished taking the piss admin should collate the installments and make a new thread |
|
|
|
Post by Camo on Jul 20, 2015 21:51:21 GMT 10
I fucking love it!
|
|
|
|
Post by Hoover on Jul 20, 2015 22:51:39 GMT 10
Gone loopy the two of you have! You know thay is supposed to be a weekwnd job? We did it in a weekend..........kinda  |
|
|
|
Post by cmurder on Jul 21, 2015 6:27:31 GMT 10
waz up !!! welcome to da board
|
|
|
|
Post by crazybollox on Aug 6, 2015 23:21:44 GMT 10
Ok instalment 4 of R1 cams and apologies for the delay, Jubby droped his bike on the slowest easiest fuckin corner in the world and its took 4 weeks to stop laughing. So after covering many Miles trying to find the correct thread of the cylinder head bolts, installing 6 inch of washers to take up the slack we now have the dial in gauge fixed in the proper place and the pointer giving the readings we are looking for. "How we going with our ECU flash" I ask - yeah they are on thier way to the U.S., - great, how long will they take to come back - should be about 4 weeks all up- ok, all we can do is wait it,s in the lap of the postal service to perform- in that case we are fucked says Jubby. Fancy a beer? Yeah grab a couple the opener is on top of the fridge- great way to start the technical stuff, drinking German piss!!!!!! Right new shimms in, camms in place, happy with the gaps, timing chain in place and just awaiting the ECU to start it up. The ECU's arrives back ( we sent both his for the FZ8 and mine for the FZ1) it is saturday morning and great care has been taken to get the bike to this stage, during the project, we have fucked and blinded, took the piss, drunk the piss, agreed and disagreed our way through, but now is the time for the reckoning. The ECU is in, the battery is charged, all that is left is turn of the key. We look at each other with hope in our eyes, a hand shake, a final brotherly hug lets go. Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh goes the engine, then nothing, uh uh uh uh uh, BANG ,,,,, what the fuck? An enormous explosion of ignited fuel...... Try it again I say - it's not going to go (Jubby) - uh uh uh uh BANG -fuck me that is not good - So fuckin tel me something I don't know says Jubby feeling the frustration - you don't know but in Europe they are now printing money on Greece proof paper.... A joke? Your telling me fuckin jokes "now" of all times!!!! No I am telling you something you didn't know - fuck off and grab a couple of beers. I think the fuckin camms are wrong says Jubby - no, they can't be we checked and checked - I am not confident he says - Right get the tank off, it's time have a look what's going on with the fuel first. Ok start it up I will look down the air intake, uh uh uh uh uh BANG........ Did you see that says Jubby, I can't answer him for laughing, i am laughing so fuckin hard - what's so fuckin funny you fucking idiot - YOU LOST YOUR FUCKIN EYE BROWS i say - what do you mean - well they're fuckin gone, you know like Elvis fuckin Presly GONE. - fuck off !!!!!!!! My laughter returns and he's off to find a mirror. He returns with a "fuck me" that was real close. - and real lucky too - what the fuck you mean lucky - well it could have been my head down there - Cunt was his reply which made me laugh again. Ok what next I ask - the fuckin camms are coming out - NO don't do that, I don't think its the cams, - it must be - no I say, maybe the the ECU,s got mixed up somehow, well I am pretty sure Carlos returned them back in the packaging they were both. Sent in - how sure - 90% - fuck it send him an e mail - what's he say - we can Skype him - do it I say Ring ring - is that Carlos - yeah - hey great to meet you man - yeah likewise - what time is it over there - 2am, I am on the beer - fuck me this be interesting - mate any chance you could have mixed up the ECU,s on the bikes - no fuckin chance - they are returned as sent - Bollox that's not what we wanted to hear - what's wrong asks Carlos - so we tell him the story. Anyway no solution that day so Jubby is adamant the cams are coming back out. Right I am off, I can't take any more of this camm shit, I am off to fit my ECU and ride into the mountains while you fuck with your camm shaft. I leave laughing to a quote of "and change your trousers, you smell of piss you old cunt!!!! As soon as I get in the ECU is in and I am ready, uh uh uh uh goes the engine BANG - what the fuck - uh uh uh uh BANG, FUCK ME - ring ring - hello - hey Jubby put your spanners away it's not your camms, my bike is doing the same - what Exactly the same - yeah exactly the same except I still have my eye brows.............! Next day I am at home, ring ring - hello - I am enquiring about the bike for sale - what - the bike you have advertised - what bike - the bike on Gumtree, looks really good and at $5k I will have it - my bike is not for sale- it's advertised - I put the phone down - ring ring I am enquiring about the FZ for sale, - it's not for sale - it's advertised - it's not for sale - this went on all fuckin day, Fuckin Jubby has listed my bike the bastard, not just listed, it's so fuckin cheap its a front page feature because of the number of hits.......! Ring ring - Hello - who's laughing now Jubby says - fuck off I say.........! For the record one guy wanted to swap my bike for his MILF mother!!!!!!  cunt.............! |
|
|
|
Post by Hoover on Aug 7, 2015 1:24:22 GMT 10
Bwahahaha, funny shit.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Aug 7, 2015 7:11:42 GMT 10
Yeah he give me shit about his biking looking so good with all the cosmetics he has just done and that hr couldn't wait to ride it around whilst I was pissing with the cams.... So I thought I would tell the world all about it. Very similar to what's DJ's sis did to him haha.
I have never been so happy to hear that someone else's bike was fucked!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by crazybollox on Aug 11, 2015 16:41:47 GMT 10
Fifth and final entry of R1 Cams . so after 9 weeks, 6 x 24 packs of piss, lots of laughter but more frustration, early starts, late finishes, my bike put up for sale, ECU's off to America and back, we got to the point where both bikes will fire but not run. we are not out of ideas and begin to look at the ECU's for the problem as we have mainly eliminated everything else. It's hard to believe that both ECU's could be fucked as a result of the flash. Enter Carlos (Dr. Doom) who realises the problem with one conversation. It seems the Flash has sent the ECU's into American spec and our bikes are European spec with built in immobilizer, something the U.S. bikes don't have and this is causing the problem. The bikes are doing what they are doing because they think they have been stolen and trying to be started from a dodgy key. The electronic operation is a three way hand shake between key, immobilizer, and ECU and if one of them does not shake back then no go brother. And speaking of brothers don't let anyone ever tell you that the brotherhood of bikies has gone or is not what it used to be as this is wrong. Carlos a big thanks man for your efforts in sending through international post your own gear for us to resolve the problem at this end, your a top bloke!! ok bikes running so lets ride. Out for the first ride we decide a run across Mount Glorious and lake wivenhoe will be the test. nothing to serious at first as we are listening for taps, rattles, clunks or bangs but amazingly for a couple of inexperienced fuck wits all is good so we start to ride. further we got, faster we went and boy is that 8 performing well. not perfect yet but big improvements. biggest worry is the lack of power down low, but when it hits 7k its like a two stroke and you better hold the fuck on or your off the back. turned out the problem was the exhaust which we suspected from the start,no back pressure with the cheapo Dan Moto from China but now the TBR carbon cab is on along with the removal of the cat it is much better. still work in progress and both our exhausts are booked in for more modifications in the header pipes before a custom map from a dyno run. Just wanted to thank everyone on this site for the input, you are all champions in our eyes. Massive thanks to Dr Doom who went way beyond the call of duty - Beers on us if we ever meet!!!!!! Thanks to everyone for reading the installments, i hope i amused you along the way.Thanks for all the comments too, they are really appreciated.Jubby - you constantly surprise me with your determination and hunger for knowledge. I reckon even Joe Marshal was impressed by you and that my friend is an accolade which is earned, it is never given lightly if at all by Joe. I am proud to have you as my son and call you my mate , but ask me to engage in shit like this again as i will fuckin disown you instantly!!!!!!  Do we really have to take these fuckers out again, the face says it all  Elation - around the back of Wivenhoe and everything works kick ass good. |
|
|
|
Post by umyaya on Aug 18, 2015 8:21:06 GMT 10
How does the FZ8 hang with the FZ1 now since it has the cams?
|
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Aug 18, 2015 8:34:42 GMT 10
How does the FZ8 hang with the FZ1 now since it has the cams? It belongs in that company still got to get dyno tune sorted... But mate you have to ride it lots of gear changes and higher rpm riding but it hangs well. Will maintan the gap till around 210kmh... The 8 still pulls upwards of this speed but the larger cc fz1 does it a bit better |
|
|
|
Post by Jubby on Aug 18, 2015 8:36:50 GMT 10
Thinking of putting r1 valves in... Will need to bore to get them seated but have access to a boring machine. Will probably buy the dome head piece get it all ready and then just swap... I will then have a spare head too.
|
|
